My oldest son started kindergarten this week. No longer my baby, he is now a “big kid” going to what he calls “big kid school”. No more day care with 3-5 teachers watching him throughout the day. Now he has one teacher. One person to teach him and help him grow into a little man. Do I trust her to expand his knowledge and teach him, preparing him for the years to come? Sure. Am I ready for this? Not at all.
I, myself, am a teacher… or was. I recently lost my job, so I have stayed home the past few days with my 2 year old. For the entire summer it was my 5 year old, my 2 year old and myself. We played, shopped, watched movies. It was the three of us. Now we are minus one. I know the first day of school is hard on the mommy. I made it through. I toughed it out. Yes, there were tears. Yes there were thoughts like, “Can he carry his tray by himself at lunch time?” “What if he has to go to the bathroom and no one is there to help him undo the belt he had to have”. No matter how hard it was on me, I never imagined it would be so difficult on the baby.
My boys are best friends. They are inseparable. Normally, I would be at work and they would both be at day care. This year is a little different. A lot different. The kids and I get ready every morning, and we walk to school, which happens to be in our neighborhood. I put Landon in the stroller and we walk Aiden to the front doors and say our “good-byes”. (By the way… he refused to give me a kiss today, but that is not what I am writing about… it broke my heart all the same)
After dropping “Bubba” off, Landon and I make the short walk home. Then depression sets in. Landon’s buddy is gone. No one to fight with. No one to play with (Mom is no fun), no one to watch cartoons with. All he can think about is Bubba.
Going to the mailbox is so sad. He knows how to get to Aiden’s school. We have walked there every morning this week. So, we grab the mail, then Landon points in the direction of the school, says, “Bubba there”, and starts walking. Today he told me he wanted to go for a walk. “Where”, I asked. “Bubba.” Then he brought me my shoes. We went outside and he started knocking on the garage saying, “stroller, stroller”. We walked by the school. I had him say bye to the school as we walked home. When we got back to the house, I put the stroller back in the garage, and he snuck in the garage, sat back in the stroller and started crying for Bubba once again.
Everyone talks about how hard school is on the mom, but what about the baby brother or sister that they are leaving behind? I wasn’t ready for this… nope, not ready at all.