September 11th, my husband and I celebrated thirteen years of marriage. Yes, that’s right. When America is mourning the tragic events that happened eleven years ago in New York City, we’re celebrating. How can we not celebrate thirteen years of an amazing marriage that gets better every day? The answer is you can’t. It’s not like we’re in the ranks of those celebrating 20, 30, or even 50 years, but we’ve certainly learned a lot of great nuggets so far.
1. Be willing to say you’re sorry and couple that with forgiveness. When you’re living with another human being, you’re going to frustrate each other, make each other angry, and hurt each other. In a perfect world, this might not happen, but we don’t live in a perfect world. Being sorry is great, but saying, “I forgive you,” releases the hurt and anger. It’s powerful, because it breaks down walls.
2. Trust your spouse. I don’t know how you can have a great marriage without trust. Insecurities will always rise up, but when you have trust, you can talk about those insecurities instead of burying them and hoping for the best.
3. Respect and honor one another. One of my pet peeves is spouses talking smack in public about their wife/husband. I’m not talking about those moments where you’re experiencing difficulty and you just need some sound advice. I’m talking about the moments of complaining and moaning about your spouse’s shortcomings, because you’re angry, and you want the world to know he/she is being a jerk. It’s just not honoring. Rather, use your energy to talk to your spouse.
4. Celebrate who each other are. My husband and I couldn’t be more opposite in the way we are wired. While there is some complementing that goes on, there can also be frustration when things aren’t done “the way I would do it.” Instead of getting angry about that, we remember that we are different and celebrate those differences. We’ve also learned to champion each other’s dreams. Man, it feels good when your spouse is rooting for you.
What are your secrets to marriage bliss?
Disclaimer: I’m not a marriage counselor or trained in any area to give out marriage advice. These are simply things I’ve learned from thirteen years of marriage.
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